Boredom

Well, I can kiss my dreams of quitting my day job to become a full-time mommy blogger/Today show contributor goodbye, because I am clearly unable to juggle two children and a blog with four loyal followers (love you guys!).

But hey, I’m not going to beat myself up about it, because I am the new-and-improved relaxed Jaime now.  (Can’t you tell?)

In all seriousness, I learned a valuable lesson after I allowed our first big holiday (Thanksgiving) to totally stress me out.  Late that night, as I sat in the darkness feeding Babygirl, enjoying the solitude after a crazy day, I realized I had been so obsessed with the table manners and the bedtime and moving the kids through the motions of the holiday that I barely took the time to enjoy it.  And now, in the blink of an eye, I am back at work, and doing my level best to take things one day at a time and revel in the holiday season as much as possible.

The biggest adaptation, for me, at home with the two kidlets, is learning to sloooooow down.  Life is busy; I am accustomed to moving fast (i.e. rushing).  With two parents trying to get to work on time, reasonably spit-up- and handprint-free, mornings have generally unfolded something like this (insert football announcer voice here): “Okay, Daddy is going to chase you back to your room where we’ll get our shoes and sweatshirt on!  Can he make it past Daddy and onto the potty?  Yes he can!  He is SAFE (fake baseball umpire move here) on the potty!  Now let’s wash those hands!  Sing ‘aaaaah’ while we brush those teeth!  And now Mommy is waiting at the end of the hall for her tackle hug!  Can he tackle her?  Yes he can!  And into the stroller!  High five!  Who wants a sticker?  Where’s Babygirl’s hat?  Okay, all set, let’s roll!”

Nowadays, though, we have two days a week where we don’t have to bundle the family out the door.  In fact, Babygirl goes down for her nap around 8am, which means most Tuesdays and Thursdays Babyman and I lounge around in our PJs well past 9.   And when we do decide to venture out into the world, it is a physical impossibility for me to get out the door in under 30 minutes by the time potty has been negotiated, shoes have been put on, kicked off, and put on again, and Babygirl has spit up a gallon of milk requiring a full wardrobe change (for both of us).

For the first couple of weeks, this stressed me out.  We should be moving more quickly!  Why isn’t this more efficient?  Until it dawned on me that it really doesn’t matter if we get to the playground at 10 or 10:30.  It’s the playground.  And if Babyman wants to walk on his own — meaning a single block can take about ten minutes to navigate — that’s okay too.  It’s kind of a paradigm shift: learning to appreciate the snail’s-pace strolls through the financial district on a Thursday afternoon, while the rest of the world zooms around us.

It’s not just me who’s adapting, though.  It occurred to me about three weeks ago that Babyman has never been bored before.  Going to daycare full-time, his days were literally structured from the moment he woke up until the moment he went to bed — and weekends revolved around his entertainment.  At home with me and Babygirl, however, he often faces stretches of time where he has to come up with ways to amuse himself (ways that don’t involve pulling ornaments off the Christmas tree, knocking all the books off the bookshelf, or watching TV).  This is a valuable life skill.

Is it weird to say I feel good about teaching my children how to be bored?

Of course, the irony is that I honestly think I would give my left arm sometimes for the chance to be bored.  And maybe that’s the point.  Boredom, like naps, is one of the great privileges of childhood.  Enjoy it while you can, Babyman!