Ferries

It's mid-October and it's glorious in San Francisco.  A pre-Halloween heat wave bakes the city during the day, but early sunsets mean cool evenings and mornings.  The skies are impossibly blue, cloudless.  The outdoor dining popping up everywhere is full -- almost uncomfortably, perhaps slightly dangerously full, but also a welcome sign of life in a place that was, for a time, unrecognizably and apocalyptically closed.  To anyone from anywhere else it would feel like summer, but here by the Bay these short, warm days speak undeniably of Fall. Anticipation. My sister and I ... [READ MORE]

wordplay

Here's what I can't stop thinking about : Tension // Intention.    I can't shake the homophonous connection, so I looked it up, and lo, there is a root share.  It's tendere (shoutout to my fellow #wordnerds), which deals with straining, effort, pull, and push. Anyway, I find it compelling that the root of intention -- which has lately been co-opted into the arena of yoga, journals, and clean eating; in other words, peacefulness and wholeness --  is, at the end of the day, about strain. I've been setting a lot of intentions lately.  You know what?  Intentions aren't easy.  They are my ... [READ MORE]

Nostalgia, A Funny Bird

Photo by Babygirl, April 2020 In my mind, this is the moment: when LittleMan was taking his first steps, and he was in the diaper with the brown t-shirt of unknown provenance (though it meant something then, those 11 years ago), and the parrots were on the deck, and he was pressed against the glass, and we had the video camera going, and it was amazing. Except, no. This is how things get conflated.  This was, like, seven different things that I somehow, in my nostalgia, managed to converge into one, perfect memory...and it was none of those things. Littleman took his first, careful ... [READ MORE]

Small Moment

The kids have this writing curriculum at their school in which every year begins with "small moments". As a writer I get this: the moment begets the scene, which begets the idea, which begets the plot and so on. (I love this about their school.) If the blog died a quiet death in 2017 it wasn't for lack of small moments.  It was because those moments weren't mine. The year belonged to other people.  Other people's battles.  Other people's pain.  Other people's triumphs.  The false starts and the great, big, smiling, deep, breaths.  I was a bystander, and a support system.  I ... [READ MORE]

Please

To my readers, I present...a letter (this is a real letter, BTW.  Real estate is EXACTLY this crazy-cakes in San Francisco). __________________ To: The Owners of our Future Home From: Us, the Hapless Desirers of Said Home Date: October 12, 2017 RE: Purchase Offer To Whom it Concerns: For the past eight years, we have been raising our son (9) and daughter (6) on the 15th floor of a high-rise just blocks from your condominium. They have grown up looking down at the buses, watching the commuters and tourists (and parrots!), marking the time by the Ferry Building clock. They ... [READ MORE]

Jump

This morning, I woke up and I remembered I like to write.  Maybe it was the journal my friend gave me yesterday.  (Maybe, the journal was a hint.)  Maybe it was reading a blog post my sister texted me in the night, that struck a chord.  Whatever.  This morning, I woke up and I remembered: Yeah.  This is a thing I do. In June, I watched my daughter -- little Babygirl!  almost six years old! -- slide off the side of a pontoon boat in the Pacific Ocean to swim with sea turtles.  LittleMan screwed his courage to the sticking place and leapt from the deck.  It never stops blowing my mind, that we ... [READ MORE]

The Ostrich

Is it okay if I just hide in one of these for a while? One year ago this week, I sat next to my mother on a flight to London.  We were both wearing Ostrich Pillows -- these lovely squishy turbans that double as eye-masks -- that she'd picked up at one of those hipster-y travel stores, along with wildly unstylish flat, stretchy slippers.  Every time we made eye contact in we collapsed laughing at ourselves.  Then the lights went down and she slept, which she can do -- seriously, anywhere -- and I watched about fifteen movies, paced the aisles, and cursed that the eye mask caused all my fake ... [READ MORE]