Babyman is terrified. Hands covering his ears, little body quivering. On his lap, his Lego rocket-blaster from the Cars 2 collection is locked and loaded, ready to fire if necessary. Snuggled between us, a floppy Woody doll smiles benignly at the television screen, where a fight-to-the-death battle between Buzz Lightyear and the Evil Emperor Zurg has Babyman utterly riveted. It is our second pass at Toy Story 2, and at Babyman's request we are watching it without sound. I will confess to forcing the issue a little bit. I am of the opinion that a little fear is constructive, ... [READ MORE]
Cold Beer & Conversation
If you are late to the Less on the Floor party, I might as well reiterate that Babyman is somewhat challenged in the falling asleep department. This means, almost four years in, that Babyman's parents (me being one of them) are somewhat challenged in the sanity department. You know that internet-sensation book, Go the F--- to Sleep, that everyone thought was SO FUNNY last year? I own that book in hardcover. I read it for solace. I take it as a sign from above that my husband and I are not alone on the barren desert of bedtime. Somewhere, not that long ago, someone else felt the way we ... [READ MORE]
Ladies Who Lunch
I thought last summer was the summer for babies, since half the women I know were pregnant (including me). But history appears to be repeating itself, as this summer the other half of the women I know are pregnant (and the first half have small babies, meaning no one -- but no one -- goes out for happy hour anymore. Boo.). The thing about knowing a lot of pregnant gals is that you find yourself attending a lot of baby showers. These take many forms. There are the ladies' only baby showers, often given by sisters or moms or aunts, where there is iced tea and a light salad lunch and ... [READ MORE]
Beginnings, Revisited
"Why do I have to try new things? Why do you make me do this?" "Because it's part of life, Babyman. Trying new things is part of being alive." This was perhaps an unfair, all-too-world-weary response for my young child at the dinner table. However, in my defense, sometimes the whining and the arms-crossed refusal to eat get a little...old. Sometimes I want him to just take the damn bite, already, so we can all get on with our lives. Babygirl attacks her veggies with exuberance. The mere sight of her brightly-colored bowls being carried to the table sends her into babbling fits of ... [READ MORE]
An Ode
One of the few, but worthy, benefits of waking before dawn every single day is the dawn itself. Our apartment is south-east facing, over the Bay Bridge and across the water to the Port of Oakland, and if you are seated in the polka-dot chair in the corner of livingroom, giving Babygirl her 5:30am bottle, you have a front row seat. The sun breaks over the South Bay hills and spreads its glow across the gray water, and the City comes to life underneath it; the first ferries arrive with the bankers and the teachers who need to be at work by 6:30 or 7, the garbage trucks begin their screeching ... [READ MORE]
What About Another Worm?
A lazy, sun-dappled Sunday afternoon chez nous, Babygirl power napping in the back, my husband resting on the couch, and Babyman and I were lying on the floor with several tubs of Play-Doh. He was mashing all of the contents together through the Play-Doh machine, generating one thick tube after another and then imprinting them with leaves and stars and trucks. I was trying to stifle my Type-A impulse to maintain the integrity of the different colors. (At this point, most of our Play-Doh is a sort of universal pinkish-gray, the result of all the colors being kneaded together over time. I ... [READ MORE]
A Contract
Panic alert: Babygirl is mobile. Stealth army crawl mobile and speedy hands-and-knees mobile. (Unless she gets tangled in the legs of her pajamas. Then she's just cranky.) Now, those of you with one child will recall how exciting this moment is. They can crawl! And soon they'll walk! And then someday they'll go to college! They're growing! Sniff sniff, wipe away a tear. Not wanting to detract from that excitement, I have to tell you: this second child's mobility is freaking frightening. There are two of them, and now they can both move. At the same time. In opposite ... [READ MORE]